AvSport of Lock Haven: Hello Tower

AvSport of Lock Haven -- 353 Proctor Street, Lock Haven PA 17745

Hello Tower
Lyrics copyright © 2020 - 2022 by Prof. H. Paul Shuch
Sung to the tune of "Hallelujah," copyright © 1984 by Leonard Cohen

I hear there was a secret code when talking on the radio,
My CFI and YouTube both confirmed it.
It goes like this: you give your call, and what you want. But that's not all.
There's more, but I'm not certain that I've learned it.
Hello Center, hello Tower.
I’ll remember in an hour.
I'm needing to invoke it now, if I can just remember how
To call up ATC to get assistance.
I try on one two one point five. It seems that no one is alive
Despite my patience, panic, and persistence.
Hear me Center, hear me Tower.
I’ve been calling for an hour.
The day I first set out to fly, I learned it from my CFI,
The FAR and AIM explaining
The right way to communicate. But now I only sit and wait
While burning avgas – not that I’m complaining.
Help me Center, help me Tower.
I’ll be Bingo in an hour.
It’s difficult to understand why no one tells me “cleared to land.”
Perhaps they’ll see me if I’m squawking Mayday.
But, no response. It’s seeming like controllers are all out on strike.
I hope I don’t cash in before their payday.
Where’s the runway? Where’s the tower?
I’ve been searching for an hour.
I love it when I get to fly, but really do not wish to die.
Forgive me if I'm being too dramatic.
Did someone kill my radio? Where did all the controllers go?
I try, but I don't even hear the static.
Not the Center, nor the Tower.
Have responded in an hour.
Then, finally, I get a break. At last I notice my mistake.
My squelch was up! I wish I'd caught it quicker.
I look ahead, and I can see they’re shining a green light at me!
I’ve got my clearance Clarence, vector Victor.
Sorry, Center. Thank you, Tower.
It has been a very stressful hour.

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