AvSport of Lock Haven: Doomed To Fly

AvSport of Lock Haven -- 353 Proctor Street, Lock Haven PA 17745

Doomed To Fly
Lyrics Copyright © 2010, 2012 by Prof. H. Paul Shuch
Sung to the tune of "Cold, Cold Heart," © 1951 by Hank Williams
(a parody of Born to Fly by H. Paul Shuch)

I'm heading to the airport for another airline flight,
But you will never join me there. I think you got it right.
The hoops they make me jump through are enough to make me cry,
So you are cozy on the ground, while I am doomed to fly.
I knew the day I made my reservation on the net,
The TSA would make this one a trip I can't forget.
They wand me and they pat me down, without a reason why.
While you are happy on the ground, I fear I'm doomed to fly.
To check a bag, the airline wants to charge me fifty bucks,
But if you want to put yours in the overhead, good luck.
And as for squeezing in my seat, I shouldn't even try.
So you are comfy on the ground, while I am doomed to fly.
The many times I try get an upgrade to first class,
They treat me like a terrorist, and bump my sorry ass.
Although I'd love to travel with you, 'til the day I die,
You're better off upon the ground, when I am doomed to fly.
When I come home from flying, I still hope my bags are there.
They are, but not conditioner or shampoo for my hair.
They confiscate my Q-tips, so I hardly wonder why
You still prefer to stay behind, when I am doomed to fly.
If I must go by air, there has to be a better way:
I'll earn a pilot's license and I'll fly myself GA.
Instead of merely baggage, I'll be Master of the Sky.
That way, perhaps you'll come with me when I go out to fly.

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