Microcomm Publications - Poetry: Rocket Scientist

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Rocket Scientist
(becomming a NASA Principal Investigator)
Copyright © 2013 by Dr. H. Paul Shuch

I suppose I've always known that all good things must end.
Starting up The SETI League with Richard, my ham friend,
Never did I doubt his dedication to the cause,
Knew he would provide support and funding without pause.
I guess I began to think of him as Santa Claus.

For a while, the resources all fell into our lap.
Richard had a company whose profits he could tap
For the cool components and equipment we desired,
Building radio telescopes. We had all we required
To realize my new designs (which really were inspired).

Richard's patent lawyer, Orville, lent us his support,
Moral and financial, so we needed not resort
To extensive fundraising. We really were in luck,
Knowing he would lend a hand whenever we got stuck.
When he passed away, he left us half a million bucks.

That sum was enough to fund us half a dozen years.
Though we were abstemious, you can guess our fears
That Orville's endowment would be running dry some day.
"Find another benefactor," Richard had to say.
"I don't know how long I can keep covering your pay."

My consulting company was my ace in the hole,
Because I knew The SETI League could not long be my sole
Source of income. And so I began to look around
For a high-tech startup breaking new and fertile ground,
And a NASA contractor I ultimately found.

QorTek had a contract to design and fabricate
A space-borne radar system, and it promised to be great.
To implement it, they required an aerial design.
With a Penn State EE prof, they hatched a plan to sign
Up one of his grad students to build them one on time.

QorTek's NASA contract was intended for three years.
One year in, their CEO was starting to have fears
That the Penn State student was not holding up his end
Of the project. He decided maybe he should send
Me to campus, to see what assistance I could lend.

What I saw was disappointing, at the very least.
Very quickly I perceived that not if we increased
Penn State's budget tenfold, would their circuits ever fly.
Just re-engineer the thing, my client begged me try.
Sadly, I said "better just to let the damned thing die."

Megabucks in contract funding clearly were at stake.
I insisted PSU had not made a mistake.
NASA's goals and PSU's objectives don't agree.
NASA needed space-flight hardware, anyone could see.
Penn State wanted just to fund another PhD.

Were they to abandon this design, my client feared,
There'd be insufficient funding for the coming year.
With renewal deadline looming, I took to my lab,
Did some testing, built some circuit boards, and took a stab
At a fresh design. I gave it everything I had.

Three weeks later, I'd produced the crudest prototype,
Thinking to buy time from NASA, tried my best to hype
My alternate design approach to QorTek's CEO.
He said he'd consider it, but that I'd have to go
Down to Goddard and put on a dog and pony show.

"Our initial concept," I told NASA's engineers
"We thought showed great promise, but we've all along had fears
That it wouldn't be all that it was cracked up to be.
So, along the way, we funded as IR&D,
This design alternative I want you now to see."

I then showed my prototype. Although it seemed quite crude
All the NASA managers quite quickly understood
It would clearly outperform the PSU design.
(Little did they know I was just trying to buy time.)
The antenna that they ultimately voted for was mine.

But, there was a catch. The Program Manager chimed in,
"We sincerely want your Phase Two contract to begin.
Just one minor detail," she continued with a sigh.
"We will fund it, but you must take over as PI.
Run the program, and you're in." "OK," was my reply.

Principal Investigators under contract can't
Simply be consultants. A condition of the grant
Is that the PI must be a full-time employee.
I had my consulting client, I began to see,
Over quite a barrel. For I would not work for free.

"What is it you want from us?" the CEO inquired.
It was obvious I was expecting to be hired
At substantial salary, and title, and the best
Benefits they could afford. He sounded quite distressed,
But I knew that somehow we'd negotiate the rest.

Thus did I become Vice President and CTO,
And for two years I was most content to run the show.
NASA got their radar system. I got decent pay.
I resigned the SETI League. And, when I went away,
They made me Emeritus. I still am, to this day.

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